If I were President of the United States.......

......and I had Congress in my back pocket; this is what I would do. Hang on; because you’re going to probably be either extremely angry or laughing yourself silly by the time you’re through reading today’s entry. Whatever you do, PLEASE read all the way to the end.

NUMBER ONE: I would get the United States OUT of the United Nations. NUMBER TWO: I would get the United Nations OUT of the United States. The United Nations has turned into an ultra-liberal, anti-American entity that is full of appeasers. They have lost their effectiveness and frankly, they need to go. Next, I would implement Operation Hornet Attack in Iraq (see last week’s entry), finish training as many Iraqi security officers as possible and get out of Iraq forever. At that point, I would then pull our troops out of every country around the world. We would no longer have overseas bases. Just hang in there with me; I’m getting ready to explain why. This would probably really 'offend' many countries because of what our military and civilian contractors do for their economies.

Are you tired of hearing that we as a country are despised all over the world; especially in Europe? This next move is for all of those countries who “hate” us all over the world. I would “cancel” all of the official development assistance (ODA) that we send to many countries all over the world. In 2005, we contributed $27.5 Billion dollars for ODA. Taking into account the current fiscal budget, the deficit would be gone in less than 5 years with that $27.5 Billion dollars and I’m really just getting started. You say that provoking other countries is not a good idea. I’ve got that covered as well. Many of these activities such as not protecting other countries best interests or withdrawing funds from many countries of the world might tempt some countries to exact some form of attack on our soil. Here would be my message to the world:

“This memo serves to inform you that we are done with your affairs. You didn’t like the way we handled things, so we don’t exist to you anymore. You have propagandized your country in a way that has made the United States the villain of the world. As a result, you will no longer be getting our money. I’m sorry that this is potentially a problem for you, but we have had quite enough of the unfair criticism from your country and its media. We are not going to attempt to ‘punish’ you in some way or form through propaganda or military strikes, but we have many financial concerns in our country and need to use the resources available to us in order to accomplish our own goals. I’m quite certain you will not like this decision and may try to take evasive action in an attempt to prevent it or exact revenge for what you perceive as a form of economic sanction; you may even attempt to thwart our plan altogether through various means. However, let it be known that if you or your neighboring countries make any move that is perceived by us as a threat or even flinch toward an attack on our country, we will release weapons that will not leave a tree standing in your country. We will be both timely and decisive in a perceived threat to our nation. Otherwise, you will not hear from us ever again. Good Luck in your future endeavors.” I’m quite certain that this would go over like a “fart in church.”

Next, we would begin drilling in Alaska and in great distances off the coastal areas in an environmentally responsible manner. At this point, we could begin to be less dependent on Middle Eastern oil. This would most likely anger some of the Middle Easterners at which time, I would refer them to the above statement. The next step would be to bring the import/export trade climate in the U.S. to a permanent equilibrium. If China does not want to level the playing field with respect to equal import and export opportunities, then China goods can stay in China. There is no ‘free trade agreement’ and there never has been an agreement of the kind; therefore, free trade would be mandatory. As far as our overall foreign policy is concerned, any questions or concerns from other countries in any regard could be answered by once again, referring them to the statement above.

I mentioned the environment earlier in the discussion. I would ask that we as a nation quit the brow beating and the scare tactics and just agree to take care of our world. I would institute programs that, once put in place, would emphasis the use of environment-friendly industry. Task forces would be managed to clean up the air, sea, and land. We would be diligent in ensuring that the environment of the United States was protected and preserved in any way possible by human hands.

Where would I get the money to pay for these programs? I would start with the money hiding in several federally funded programs that need to disappear. First and foremost, there would be no more federally funded abortions. Next, federal programs that rated as “ineffective” with respect to the PART program would be history. This alone amounted to 3% of the budget in 2006. This amount equals to about $66 Billion.

Next step would be to level some of the abhorrent legislation that has been enacted over the past 50-100 years. Below is a list of some of the changes:

1. Federal and State Income Tax (and subsequently the IRS) – gone. I would institute a federal sales tax that would ensure that illegal immigrants, drug-dealers, and other criminals pay their share of the federal budget.

2. Social Security – dramatically changed to give people the option to invest up to half of their withheld money in mutual funds, and other funds managed by different sub-contracted money managers and overseen by a Congress appointed financial task force. The Stock Market has performed much better than any other investment opportunity (aside from Real Estate) over the past 100 years.

3. Affirmative Action – gone. This legislation has outlived its usefulness.

4. Welfare – DRAMATICALLY changed to ensure that those who are capable of working either work or get nothing. For those who are not capable of working, we would enact legislation that would make most of the red tape disappear when attempting to acquire disability, welfare, food stamps, etc.

5. Economy – The capitalist economy of this country would be unbelievable. Due to the increase in income (as a result of eliminating federal and state income taxes), the economy would accelerate in just about 5 minutes after the income tax was eliminated. Spending would be at an all-time high, which would result in another all-time high: federal revenues. If you work really hard, you will not be able to think of a way that this would be a detriment to the economy. The heightened federal revenues would also result in more money for police, firefighters, and other civil servants to keep the streets in good shape.

6. Speaking of police – If an officer asks you to stop and you decide to run away; if you have either (a) a deadly weapon that has been brandished, or (b) are suspected of committing a violent crime; the officer has the new found right to take you down. The United States spends a fortune alone in chases. Time, injury, and other problems associated with these futile chases have caused more problems than they’re worth. Eventually, criminals would stop running.
a. New Ticket Laws:
i. Driving in the fast lane under the speed limit – TICKET.
ii. Driving with a child 4 years of age or younger without a child seat – a night in jail and a fine.
iii. Driving while using a cell phone (and not a Bluetooth device) – TICKET.
iv. Stopping on an acceleration lane of a major freeway rather than yielding and merging – TICKET
v. Not using a turn signal – TICKET.
vi. Doing any of these while driving in Memphis, the worst driving environment in the U.S. – Jail time (okay, just kidding about that one).

7. Justice – Capital punishment would be extended. If one was convicted of a crime (beyond a shadow of doubt) that involved murder in the first degree, child molestation, or crimes involving the torture or severe mistreatment of children, we would get out the lethal injection. In the mind of a ‘pseudo-paleoconservative’ such as myself, the punishment should fit the crime which, if put into practice, would result in different death sentence techniques that might seem cruel in the 21st century. For now, lethal injection would do the trick.

8. Abortion - gone, unless it involved the life of the mother.

9. “Representation without taxation” – gone! The Revolution of this country was based on the fact that we were taxed without representation. This trend has completely reversed. There are individuals out there who do NOT contribute to the federal budget or the GDP in any way, shape, or from; yet, they are given a voice with respect to where that money is utilized.

10. Ban on prayer in school and public places – gone. I don’t necessarily believe that prayer should be forced on school children, but not allowing a child to pray before having lunch at school is insanity. Freedom of religion, not from religion.

I could spend a month speaking to what changes I would make if elected President of the United States.

Granted, some of what I have entailed is extreme. Unfortunately, we live in an era when many of these changes if implemented decades ago, might have worked, but would not necessarily work in 2007. We would have major uprisings and other problems that would be associated with these major changes in the administration. However, sit back and think about some of these notions. I’m sure that many would disagree with most of what is proposed, if not all of what I have proposed. If one truly thinks through these changes, one might find that the results might just be advantageous in many ways. I admit that some of what I have proposed is laughable and was meant to entertain you in ways. On the other hand, there are many that I truly feel would help get our country back on track. In regards to the abolishment of the income tax, both federal and state, I feel it would be one of the best moves our country could make in an economic sense.

Let me know what you think.